There is something that I tell my students continuously “there is no try, just do.” It sounds as if Yoda was speaking to Luke Skywalker but it is not as esoteric as it may sound. This is simple to read and simple to say, but many of us fall short of actually doing it. If I had a dollar for every parent and student that has come to me and said “I want my child to develop self-confidence, self-esteem, self-discipline, self-control, focus and learn self-defense. My child really enjoyed their classes but I don’t want to commit for a year. I want my child to overcome their shyness or they need to listen more. I personally always wanted to learn the martial arts.” I would be a millionaire. A week goes by and the excitement is still there. A month goes by and the excitement is growing but the student is falling into the routine. A year goes by and it is becoming a routine and the newness is not their so the excitement is starting to fade slightly.

Renewal time comes around and the student or the parent asks themselves “do I want to commit to another year, do I want to spend the money, maybe I need to do something else, that excites me like when I first started the martial arts.” Well, the hard true fact is that unless you develop a skill like self-discipline then everything you do in life will have the same results. As any married person can attest your relationships never has the fire of when everything is new. This does not mean that it is not great, does it. It just takes some adjustment and realization that life is not just about fun and excitement. You need to dig deep inside sometimes to find the benefits, why you started in the first place. Why you got married. What you saw in the person in the first place. You cannot let your mind wonder and look for a new fix everytime the initial thrill wears off. This is your self-control and focus.

How many of us have quit something that we regretted in the future? How many of us justify quitting by blaming it on something else? Our jobs, the organization, the spouse, your friend they are all responsible. It takes self-confidence to be able to look in the mirror and say what can I do to make this better? What can I do to stick this out? How can I achieve the goals I set for myself?

For every parent that has told me I don’t force my children to do anything. Why should I make them go when they are not enjoying it? I don’t think that the martial arts are like regular school. I have to disagree. Martial arts if taught properly is not about kicking and punching it is about life. For every child that has quit I feel bad. Not for the child but for all that the child loses. No one will ever know what they have lost, because they have not put a value on what they have given up. It is only the people that achieve that truly know what people lose. For every parent that says they do not force their child or encourage them to do things. I say when was the last time you let you stay up all night, not eat correctly, or stay out all night drinking.

Every day you make decisions based on what you feel would be in their best interest or yours. Don’t you? Well the truth is as school owners we need to make the student and the parents understand that the martial arts will change their lives for the better. How do I do that? Most of all I talk about it, then I teach it and thirdly I live it. If the student is not present the lesson is not heard. That is why it is important to exercise your focus, self-control and self-discipline and make it to class. To teach the student when they least expect it. To train them in techniques of success without them really even knowing it, to help them achieve Black Belt Excellence as an everyday occurrence. Today is only what you have. There is not past. The future is only a dream. Make the most out of the moment.

Helpful hints on how to keep training.

Helpful hints for parents.

1) Don’t let your child relax before class. Don’t let them settle into their favorite video game or T.V show. Set up some time before their class to do some chores such as cleaning up their room, doing homework, or doing yard work even helping to prepare dinner. The martial arts school would be a invited break from this activity.
2) Don’t give into I don’t want to go today. If you do, you will show them that they have a choice. This will make it difficult for you, the next time.
3) Always encourage your child. Promote home practice and encourage participation in extra curricular events. Watch movies that are related to the martial arts with your children.
4) Be consistent and organized. The child does not like to be rushed from here to there and not have the proper uniform or fighting gear it is embarrassing to them.

Adults

Don’t let things get in the way of your routine.
Try to always make your classes each week. In a 168 hour week, 3-5 hours is not that much.
Don’t relax before training. Stay busy and motivated. Don’t fall into the pitfall of I do it tomorrow. That is one of the killers of good martial artists.
Don’t let burnout disguise itself as realistic reasoning. If you are tired rest properly but don’t quit.
Always trust your teacher and ask them for advice or a fellow student that may give you insight on the situation you are going through.

Allie Alberigo is a 6th Degree Black Belt in the art of Ninpo/Ninjutsu and Jujutsu and has been training in the martial arts for over 39 years, as well as being a martial arts school owner, self-defense expert, public speaker and business owner. Allie is the owner of the L.I. Ninjutsu Centers, which has locations in East Islip, West Islip, Port Jefferson, Lindenhurst, and Bermuda. In 2000 Allie his first book “The Beginners Guide to Ninpo” and has also released his first video “The Warrior Spirit” (39 minutes). If you have any questions do not hesitate to call 631-321-5432, email him at renshilininja@aol.com, or check them out online at Lininja.com. He loves to hear from you.